**** EDITORS NOTE…  I have no idea who wrote this… a guy in prison keeps sending scribbled notes in pencil to a friend of mine (seriously)… so obviously I am posting it on the internet. There is probably some hidden Hannibal Lector code in here that will get someone killed… enjoy…

10. If Vincent’s Ear had a decent sound system.Frosty, cold PBR’s, decent coffee, excellent chocolate chip cookies, and the most disgusting bathrooms within 100 miles aren’t always enough. Sometimes a good PA and caring sound guys are actually needed to validate a club and a burgeoning underground music scene.

9. If the Avett Brothers had said they came from Asheville.C’mon, guys, would it have killed you to say that Asheville was home? Besides, there’s no possible chance that Concord will ever be the next music hot bed. Give us a break. We gave you one.

8. If the locals actually cared.What other city has music fans so jaded to have the collective attitude that there’s so much to do that there’s no need to actually go out and do anything? The people think they can always go out next time, anytime, and almost never do. Remember the lines around the block to get into 31 Patton during the 90’s? Remember those sold out Blue Rags shows? Use it or lose it, folks.

7. If the Rebelles had turned from artsy strippers into a rock band.Sure, it was great to have a burlesque troupe of semi-hip, socially and culturally-aware women who didn’t mind taking off their clothes to make a political statement, promote sexual equality, or just get a good laugh, but imagine if they’d have turned those sentiments into rock songs? Balloons, feather boas, and clever puns are fine for local hipsters but think of the audience they could have reached with Marshall amps, vocal auto-tuners, and major label support. The possibilities are staggering, especially if a still photo of the original screen dance was used as the CD cover.

6. If the silly, folksy, ‘singer-songwriters’ would have all stuck to open mic nights.At least, that way people would know what to expect if walking in on one: a crowd made up of people waiting their turn to play their songs for people waiting their turn to play their songs for people waiting their turn to play their songs. Oh, yeah, and lots of feedback and people not singing into the mic. Good luck, y’all, see you next week! Get here early to sign up!

5. If Drug Money had actually made a good-sounding album.Major label budget, national press, kickass producer, and local press eating out of their hands. The next big thing. It must have taken Fisher and company lots of hard work to make ‘Mtn Cty Jnk’ sound so, um, well, not so great. Money changes everything, t’is true. For a real treat, find their earlier demos, when they were still a hungry two-piece.

4. If people actually bought their friends’ CD’s and t-shirts, and actually went to their shows.The best national scenes seemed to always start small and from within. Can you spell S-E-A-T-T-L-E?

A-T-H-E-N-S?? A-U-S-T-I-N??? M-E-M-P-H-I-S????

3. If Greg Cartwright had ‘STAR’ stage presence.Excellent singer, guitarist, and producer, with a true sense of musical style and a killer band, the Reigning Sound, this man will hopefully be appreciated for the songwriter that he is. If only he didn’t look like a deer in the headlights while on stage. Seems to me his cult hero status will never be surpassed until he can captivate a large crowd with his presence the way he does with his music (and also convince his keyboardist to do something about that comb-over…). C’mon, Greg, it’s not too late. A whole generation is rooting for you! (No pressure or anything…)

2. If the Moody Dolls would have been a real band.Such star-power. Such potential. You know who you are.

1. If the members of Truth & Salvage Co. hadn’t all moved to L.A.Who knows if the nearly un-listenable but respectably popular Scrappy Hamilton would have morphed into the kick-ass, L.A. cowboy, 70’s style rockers Truth & Salvage Co. if they hadn’t all packed-up and moved to Los Angeles. What I do know is that the always loveable Scott, Walker, Smitty, and company now have an honest-to-goodness pro rock band on their hands. Could they have had the support and discipline to pull it off, had they stayed in Asheville? Probably not. Oh, wait. Maybe their moving is what might actually put Asheville on the map. Go figure.